My Survivor Needs - As a survivor trying to thrive:

This is in response to being tagged by Enola. Man, coming up with a list of 25 needs isn't easy. I'm not used to considering my needs all that much. Whose bright idea was this, anyhow? That's right, it was Marj at Survivors Can Thrive who started this whole thing. I've got a thing or two to tell her just as soon as I come up with 25 needs for this list so Enola won't keep hounding me . . .

My Survivor Needs - As a survivor trying to thrive:

1. I need to find a way to better nuture my parts.  To be honest about it, I should say I need to find a way to nurture them at all.
2. I need to overcome my Pleasure Anorexia.
3. I need to get to the anger at my abuser.
4. I need to bear in mind that even though the abuse was something I was powerless to stop, I do have the ability and power now to deal with its aftermath in such a way that I won't be an unnecessary burden on others.
5. I need to face the truth of my mother's lack of love for me.
6. I need to figure out how to live in this world as a multiple.
7. I need to find a new kind of normal.
8. I need for people to stop tagging me (ha, just making sure everyone's paying attention.)
9. I need a good night's sleep uncontaminated by bad dreams, anxiety, guilt, and fear.
10. I need an older couple to take me into their hearts, and nurture me. Anyone want to adopt me?
11. I need to learn how to take naps.
12. I need to do something for myself every day, even if it does make me feel guilty.
13. I need to learn how to cry (when appropriate.)
14. I need to stop feeling shame for feeling so bad about myself.
15. I need to acknowledge progress I've made, along with any growth and learning that's happened along the way. Not everyone chooses to grow and learn. I need to acknowledge that I've made that good choice, to give myself some credit.
16. I need to learn how to trust.
17. I need to give myself permission to laugh without analyzing my laughter afterwards to see if it was out of line, or whatever. I'm so afraid of offending someone for being me.
18. I need to allow myself to be needy once in a while, instead of always being the strong, stoic one.
19. I need to go have a smoke.
20. I need coffee.
21. I need for this list to be shorter.
22. I need to surround myself with people who make me laugh, who are gentle with babies and old people, and who are trustworthy.
23. I need good fiction.
24. I need Frasier reruns.
25. I need my cyber pals.

I can't think well enough to do the second list. Sorry Enola, I did the best I could. Maybe this will teach you to tag me!

Comments

[marj aka thriver]

This is a wonderful list. Thanks for playing. I want an older couple to adopt me, too! Do you think it will ever happen for us?
I love #8 and number 21! LOL! Yes, I WAS paying attention.

[Austin]

How on earth did I miss this list? Where was I?
Anyway, there is so much about this that I find noteworthy. I think the overall theme of it is that you need to start caring for your needs so that you can have a more comfortable future. I saw the issues of trust and of self worth come up as well as the need for others to nurture you with honesty and gentleness. This is such a good list.

I can add one thing to your list of wants. Didn't you tell me one time that you want to write a book? There was something about a book but I can't exactly remember what it was. Maybe you wanted to be a writer or something like finishing your memoirs? .....
There's also a CD of hymns that you want so that's 2 of your 5 right there.

Austin

[beautifuldreamer]

You're right, Austin, those are two things I could have added to the shorter list. Since you know me so well how about completing the list for me? That way I won't have to put out any effort!