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This area is reserved for the tidbits I know hope will be of interest to my readers. Check back often for regular updates. 

 

Check out this article about the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomena, including a list of organizations which strongly oppose this sick trend, and have implemented various means of helping women who have been sexually victimized.

 

Were you raised by a narcissist? Chances are you were if you suffered any form of childhood abuse. The Little Red Survivor website is filled with excellent articles examining the many faces of narcissism.

 

It's been a long time coming---7 years to be exact---but finally email notifications for new BD posts is available. Sign up today and never again miss another post. You know you want to!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Kate Is Rising has an excellent Survivors Resources page which directs you to numerous websites dealing with issues of abuse, healing and recovery. Please bear in mind that the information on these pages may be triggering.

 

 

There's lots of good stuff at the Dissociation Blog Showcase, including a list of 180 blogs dealing with some aspect of this disorder. 

 

 

On the Overcoming Sexual Abuse site there's an article entitled, "It's Not About You Mom" which I could have written myself. I bet many of my readers could say the same!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thursday
Feb012007

My Addlepated Ramblings

I'm really  disoriented today. I'm still adjusting to my new blog; as much as I love it, it's so vastly different from the old template that it startles me every time it comes up.

This morning, half awake, I thought of a short story that begged to be written. Perhaps not all begging should be dignified with an answer. All I know is, I crawled out of bed, plopped down in front of my PC and began writing off the top of my head. No coffee in my system though--- not just because it was early but more to the point, there's no creamer in the house. (By the way, I haven't had a problem with coffee grounds lately. I seem to have overcome that particular quirk of mine. My latest coffee related quirk is not being able to pour a cup without ending up with a lake on the counter.)

Where was I? Oh yes (I really should stop interrupting myself), the disorientation thing. As anyone who keeps up with my blog knows, yesterday several of my kid parts collaborated on a poem. I feel a tad bit left out. After all, two of them have been MIA for months, one of them I see only in glimpses as she darts upstairs to her room, her face hidden behind a mane of hair which hasn't been brushed in, well probably forever. And the other one, Beezer, well I barely know her. How the four of them got together without me knowing about it, I don't know. I suspect all kinds of goings on take place when my back, so to speak, is turned. Did they have to write this poem then go back into hiding? Apparently so. Maybe now that the ice has been broken there will be more sightings, more random drive bys (or should I say "outings"?)

Last weekend my cousin and I took in a movie. My, my, I couldn't help but think sarcastically as we drove off into the dark, "imagine that, Beauty gets out after dark. Wheeee!" So we picked this particular movie (Children of Men) because of a good review, also on account of our original choice being too violent. On the way we stopped at a little hole in the wall Mexican restaurant we'd never seen before, and the food was outstanding. The best salsa and nachos of my life. Oh yum, my mouth waters just thinking about it. So on to the movie. Boy I'm sure glad he talked me out of the violent one. So glad we went with this one instead (not.) Good grief, every time I plunged my hand into the bag of popcorn (which did NOT have extra butter as requested, it was dry as sawdust), someone else was getting shot, stabbed, and let's just say "etc." for those of you who may actually want to see this movie, and don't want it spoiled. I will say the acting was excellent as was the directing.

 Afterwards, my cousin walked about 3 blocks to his car and I stood shaking in the cold and wind, waiting for his scrawny self to hurry up. It was dark and my night vision's nothing to write home about, so it occurred to me as I stood squinting at the cars approaching, what if I got into a car I thought was my cuz's, but it wasn't, and just as I shut my door and turned to make a smart alec remark, I saw my mistake? Ok, so then I thought, let's say it's a housewife who's treated herself to the rare luxury of a night at the movies. With much pleading she managed to drag her hubby here, and he even held her hand when the lights went down and offered to get more butter for the popcorn when she complained of how dry it was (something my cousin didn't do by the way.) OK, so now the show's over. Who knows if they liked it, they were so busy rediscovering each other. They stroll lazily outside together and he offers to go get the car, as she has a bad, let's see, a bad knee, and the walk would make it throb like a bad toothache. So he trots off and she stands in the dark in a sort of romantic haze, smiling to herself, anticipating a much needed night of passion. She peers at the cars driving by, not really thinking of anything beyond the ride home, and the promise of a delicious later. A car approaches and she steps from the curb, grabs the handle, plops inside with a highschool girlish laugh, shutting and locking the door behind her. As she turns to say something amusing to her hubby, she sees with shock that it's not hubby after all. It's some big sloppy zit faced man with a sneer on his face, greasy hair and, she sees as she looks frantically around, a back seat strewn with empty beer cans and kiddie porn.

Oh brother. Can we all groan in unison? Where do I get these ideas anyway? And why did I bring all this up when I was talking about my blog, and disorientation? Well I suppose it must be that I've been a bit off kilter since that night, truth be told. Just the oddity of going out and doing something fun, mingled with a surprisingly good meal, a surprisingly violent movie, my twisted thoughts of getting in the wrong car, then a few days later, my new pale pink blog...you get where I'm going with this, right? I don't know what I'm doing. Oh, let's also throw in my 4 parts making an appearance long enough to post a poem, then going back into hiding. Other than that, not much happening around these parts. (Get it?) Oh I know I should stop this nonsense and get back to the story I began this morning. It's already about 10 pages long, hopefully I won't ever finish it. If I do finish it and everyone's lucky, I won't publish it here. But with the way my mind's been working lately, I wouldn't count on it.

 

 

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Reader Comments (8)

I like your new blog. nice colors and definately much easier to read, even though I don't need glasses yet. I've been offline a while, so I was just checking in with all my blogging buddies.

February 1, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterjewellybeano

i hope you do publish the story youre writing! id like to read it!
kïrstin♫

February 2, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterkïrstin

I like the new look a lot. thanks for your kind comments at my blog. Now I don't feel so alone about "not doing DID right." I think I'm gonna spend a lot more time reading your wonderful writing here--maybe I can learn alittle bit more about all this stuff.

February 2, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMarj aka thriver

Hi Marj,
I think you'd really get something out of the article in my side bar (under misc.) entitled, On Being a Proper Multiple. It sure cleared up a lot of things for me, and removed a lot of the shame and guilt I felt at not expressing my DID in typical fashion.

Hope it helps!
BD

February 2, 2007 | Registered Commenterbeautifuldreamer

we are firm believers in whatever works for you is best for you. for some it is the structured traditional methods for others it is some sort of mumbled jumbled popouri so whatever works best for you and gets the best results is your path. All of our paths will crossover at points and diverge at points but we all are headed in the same direction sometimes hand in hand and sometimes within eyesight but always together in some way.

keepers

February 2, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterkeepers

We know how it is to discover new entries that you knew nothing about. I don't know half of what's in my blog. I just read a letter from big me to little me today and was stunned.

When I read the parts about your little one's reappearing to write the poem I could hear a bit of sadness that you didn't get to talk to them. I may also have heard a little resentment which is also a normal response. I'd like to bring up that though they came and went so quickly you do now posses the knowledge that they can come back and they want to communicate with you and others. So you have not in fact lost them. They are still there.The poem says a heck of a lot about how they feel and perhaps why they retreated.

The blog may look different like night does to day but it's yours, without a doubt it's all yours.

Disorientation- boy that one seems to stick to me like white on rice. It's uncomfortable, makes me feel crazy sometimes. Switching all the time is exhausting but when my mind races from thought to thought it makes me feel like switching is a treat.

I can tell very much that you have really having a hard time and I want you to know that we truly understand what you're going through. We wish you the best, even if the best does include grounds in your coffee or spilled coffee on the table. :-) Don't think that one slipped by me because it didn't. :-)

with hope,
Austin

February 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAustin

I like the new digs!!! I haven't visited the site in awhile,I forgot what I was missing! I sure do enjoy reading your writings! I hope all is well! Miss ya....Love, DeeDee

February 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDeedee

I enjoy your blog. The new site is great. Sorry I have been out of touch for awhile.

February 6, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterWanda

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