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Time to Earn My Money
Monday, October 19, 2009 at 8:35AM As Mondays go this isn't a bad way to begin my day: an e-mail informing me that my poem, The Color of Bones, will be published in an upcoming edition of a local newspaper. I'd forgotten submitting this poem, I think I sent it in several months ago. Strange how emotionally attached I am to every poem I write, and then as time goes by I pretty much forget its existence, or what drove me to write it in the first place.
Yesterday Sissyface and my niece surprised me with early birthday gifts: two gift cards to Joann's Fabrics. Yahoo! Little did I know that yesterday they were having a huge sale, which as it turned out was both a good and a bad thing. Good because I got so many good deals (for instance, I bought two big frames to use for collages for Christmas gifts and paid $29 for both, rather than $65.) The bad aspect of the sale was the checkout line which wrapped halfway around the store. I took my time shopping, hoping things would thin out by the time I made it to the checkout line. Oh what fun going up and down the aisles plotting Christmas projects. I haven't made a collage in years: shouldn't I invest in a new set of rubber stamps since I never got back the one I loaned out a long time ago? Ooh, wouldn't that paper look nice in the background? Then on to the rows of yarn, such beautiful colors and tantalizingly soft. I got some good stuff there, for making presents for my family and as donations for the African children.
Today I've no plans, though I suppose I should try to find places for all the stuff Sissyface keeps bringing me. She's given me so much stuff that it's going to be quite the challenge figuring out just where it should all go. I don't think Maddy understands that Auntie is moving in 2 weeks, and that she and her family are going to be living in her old apartment. She's gotten especially close to Sissyface this last month; I hope it won't be too hard of an adjustment on her to not have her right next door.
For those curious as to why I haven't started therapy yet, here's my best reason. I ended up loaning my car to one of my son's when the transmission went out on his car. True, I could use public transportation: there are buses stopping right in front of my door all the time. But I don't do very well with that mode of transportation. I find it very confusing, even more confusing than trying to find my way around by car. I can hear all the tongue clicking while one after another of you mutters, "That Beauty's in denial! Even if she still had her car she wouldn't be in therapy--that's just a lame excuse." I admit it! I admit I'm loving having this excuse! I never said I wanted to be in therapy. And just why am I defending myself anyhow? Perhaps this is a sore subject for me?
Oh, I said I had no plans today but it occurs to me I've got to start doing the ton of laundry in Sissyface's basement. She's already paid me in advance. Here's a good thing about the condo she's moving into: if she ever pays me to work for her again the washer and dryer are tucked away in a closet off of her hallway instead of down a flight of stairs in a dark basement.
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Reader Comments (12)
Hello my delightful delovely friend. I have not slipped off the face of the earth.. Yes I think this post is charming, no I don't think you are in denial I think you are doing a right fine job of taking care of yourself when you feel like it on your timetable and I think that is healthy.
Yes I am going to go back and read your old posts so I don't miss out on what I already missed. For instance, how did I miss that Maddy is going to be your neighbor? This is wonderful. Wonderful for you because you love her and it will be good for you to know you are worth boundaries when you have to take care of your health. And ohhhhh so wonderful for her because my grandma was my only safe place when i was little and the only person I ever knew truly loved me, so I KNOW how important you are to her.
And yes I have begun your gift but I am sure you won't get it on time for your Birthday not that that was my reason in the first place. Sending you all kinds of ♥
Vicki
Real quickly I wanted to say that I don't ride the bus for the very same reason. What is simple and easy for others isn't the same for us. As a matter of fact riding city transportation is directly against medical advice to me. This reason, at this point, is completely legit.
Faith - off to therapy in a MEDICAID cab. :0)
Vicki,
Hello again, nice to have you back!
Maddy has been my neighbor for nearly a year now, it's just that when Sissyface moves she and her family will be moving right next door to where they are now, in the apt. Sissyface is vacating. (They actually live one row over from me, which is next door to Sissyface.)
I always welcome presents, being the greedy gut that I am, birthday or not!
Austin,
Was that a snide remark about Medicaid Cab?! Are you trying to imply that I could get to therapy in that manner if I really wanted to?
Yeah, I don't know what it is about buses. I feel so stupid telling people I can't ride them. I wish I could. I wish I could do a lot of "normal" things.
CONGRATS on the publication of your poem. That is awesome.
Thank you Enola! It's always a boost to my spirits getting something published.
Congratulations on the poem! I hope you will post it for us to read. Happy birthday too. Nice to hear things are going well for you.
Tricia,
Thanks for the congrats. If you go back to this post and click on the link, it will take you to the poem.
Beauty
Congrats about the poem! How wonderful that many people will be able to see your work and "see" a "face" of abuse. Hope you have a great week!
Not snide nor snarky or any of those words you use that make me giggle. Just info.... juuusssttt info :0)
The bus goes so fast. There are a bunch of people all talking, some moving about. Usually I had to sit by a perfect stranger who may or may not want to tell me their life story. Then of course there's limited space so someone WILL touch me. I sit there with everything going by so quickly. I try to keep my head on straight but the harder I try the more focus I lose. There's always some sad, sad situation or something happy that makes me sad. It's an emotional ride to say the least. Someone else is in control, behind the wheel plus there are a bunch of other people causing me serious anxiety. It's not as simple as getting on the bus and getting off, not when you have PTSD and DID. It's just not that simple.
The Color of Bones is one of my favorite poems of yours.
Austin
I tried sending a message on the leave an email message, that appeared to not go through, so I hope this is not a redundant message.
I know this may sound like a stupid question, and I confess, I am a bit computer illiterate. When visiting and leaving comments on other journals (created by BLOGGER) I came by your journal, and I found it very interesting to read. However your journal seems to be set up different then Blogger, as I could not find a link to put you on my 'follow this blog list' So I was wondering if you used a different host, or if BEAUTIFUL DREAMER is your own personal website?
Barbara,
My blog is hosted by Squarespace. Here's the link that you can use for your blogroll:
http://bdreamer.squarespace.com/