Time for a Chuckle or Two

I don't know about everyone else, but I'm in the mood for something humorous for a change. The following are real classified errors which were published in a small-town daily:

• (Monday) FORE SALE -RD Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 555-0707 after 7 pm and ask for Mrs Kelly who lives with him cheap.
• (Tuesday) NOTICE-We regret having erred in RD Jones's ad yesterday. It should have read: One sewing machine for sale. Cheap. 555-0707 and ask for Mrs Kelly who lives with him after 7 pm.
• (Wednesday) NOTICE-RD Jones has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in his classified ad yesterday. His ad stands corrected as follows: FOR SALE-RD Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 555-0707 and ask forMrs Kelly who loves with him.
• (Thursday) NOTICE-I, RD Jones, have NO sewing machine for sale. I SMASHED IT. Don't call 555-0707, as the telephone has been disconnected. I have NOT been carrying on with Mrs Kelly. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper, but she quit.

And here's some real news headlines which are bound to give you a chuckle or two:

• Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
• Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe
• Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
• Miners Refuse to Work After Death
• Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
• Stolen Painting Found by Tree
• Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter

And last but not least, here are some funny signs and notices:

• Sign in a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
• Sign in a London department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs
• In an office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
• On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door (this door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side door.)
• Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything---bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
• Sign in a cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. In pencil beneath the sign: Socks can eat anyplace they want.
• Sign on a music library's door: Bach in a minuet.
• Sign in a restaurant window: T-bone steak, $1. Then, in fine print underneath: With meat, $12.
• A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: Today's special. Below it says, So's tomorrow.

Comments

[Austin]

I like the church door one and the Bach sign.
:0)
Poor Mr. RD Jones. He's so misunderstood. Those are too cute.

[Tracie]

Love these!!
The classified errors were hilarious! Poor RD Jones!

Thanks for the laugh!

[Barbara]

A little humor goes a long way, thank you for sharing Dreamer