How I Spent My Monday

7:30 am:  Stumbled into kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Tripped over Midge who was meowing much too loudly for so early in the morning. Shushed her repeatedly all the way into the living room.

7:35 am:  Turned on computer, stared at it idiotically. Checked e-mail and blog, did some stumbling. Answered cell phone call from Tim, who's been calling a little earlier than I'd like. With no caffeine yet in my system, I couldn't trust myself to be patient with him.

7:45 am:  Ended phone call, padded into the kitchen for first cup of coffee. Startled myself by glancing at my vanity which now resides in the kitchen. I'd forgotten I did a little arranging this weekend. Stepped back to get a better look, decided I still love the idea of having an un-kitcheny item against what used to be a blank wall.

7:46 am:  Told myself to have a smoke, then get dressed. Had smoke, perched on tiny little porch table inherited from former neighbors. Sat wrapped up in bright fleece blanket, realized I'd forgotten to brush my hair, hoped it wouldn't be one of those mornings when the owner of the pub was out walking his dog. Tried to remember what I wanted to do with the rest of the day, drew a blank.

7:55 am:  Back inside, totally forgot about getting dressed. Plopped back down at computer, replied to emails, drank coffee. Wandered into bedroom, noticed the scrapbooking paper I'd received in the mail the other day, considered beginning the collage I'm making for a Christmas gift.

7:55-noon: Worked on collage. Talked to one of my sons (Maddy and Anna's dad) who told me how sick they all were, and that they were going to emergency if they didn't get better soon. Nibbled on the last of my pastrami and Swiss cheese (I'd tossed a loaf of moldy bread the day before), and thought about getting dressed.

12-2:00:  Worked on collage. Decided to take a break to get housework done. Forgot to do so. Burst out laughing, on the john, remembering how during the weekend when Sissyface and I took Maddy out to lunch, I'd written "Wash me, whore" in the dirt on her back bumper. Wondered again why that word always makes me crack up.

2:00-4:00 Worked on collage. I think. Lost all track of time and reality. Realized with a start I should get dressed, decided if I hadn't by now what did it matter? Also realized that my niece often borrows Sissyface's car so perhaps I should tell my sister what I wrote on her bumper before she loaned it out again.

4:00-6:00 Nibbled on Fritos and sour cream. Wished for cake. Answered 3 phone calls in a row from Maddy's mama; each time there was no one there. Took a call from my son who told me they were going to emergency, everyone throwing up and having the runs.

6:00 pm  Heard a woman outside weeping. Looked out living room window, nothing. Looked out kitchen window, nothing. Weeping increased. Decided I needed to throw my trash out anyhow, so while outside I walked down to the sidewalk and looked in both directions. Nothing. Not a soul in sight, but the weeping was real, I swear it. Felt something like fear snake its way up my spine.

6:05 pm:  Back inside I worked again on the collage. Ironed some material for an iron on transfer I'd printed out, and felt a strong impulse to plunge the iron into the sink full of water I should have drained a long time ago. Resisted the urge. Looked with a start at my kitchen clock. How had it gotten so late? Looked down at my pjs and robe in great shame. Who lives like this?

6:10 pm:  Plopped down on couch, still mystified by the mysterious weeping woman. Tried to ground myself by watching a little TV but it didn't help. Thought of working on the scarf I'm knitting my grandson, but knitting seemed like something I'd only ever dreamed I could do. Called Sissyface, woke her from a nap. Tried to explain how ungrounded I felt, told her all about the eerie weeping and how I felt as if I was on a mild acid trip.

7:00 pm:  My son called to tell me they were testing the kids for Swine Flu. He didn't really know anything at that point, and won't get the test results for several days.

7:05 pm:  Began cleaning up mess from collage. Wondered if it was worth the bother to make myself a little meal. Decided it wasn't. Got back on the computer and found an email from someone on Freecycle responding to my wanted ad for a living room area rug (for Maddy's fam.) Sat wondering once more where the day had gone to, feeling as if the entire day was lost to me. And who was doing that weeping? I know I heard it, it wasn't my imagination.

I don't know how the rest of the evening unwound, except that my son stopped by around 11 pm (with his shirt up over his face to spare me his germs) to borrow the money needed for their prescriptions. Wandered into my room, saw that Midge had a little gift waiting for me so resigned myself to cleaning the litter box before climbing into bed. Finally got under the covers, checked my DVR to see what shows were waiting to be watched, wondered if I'd get sick too. Would I die from the Swine Flu, of all thing? I have a compromised immune system-- but I can't afford to worry about what might happen.

Lay in bed numbly staring at the TV and regretting the whole, weird day.

Comments

[Michelle]

Days like this suck! :-( Here's wishing you many better days ahead.