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Switching
Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 10:02AM Sometimes I need a quick little DID refresher course about what goes on when one switches from one part, or personality, to another. The following is a list I've kept from back when I was in therapy:
You know you have the help of an alter when:
- You suddenly want to run
- You have a headache
- You feel little and scared
- You get a sudden idea to do something
- You get an anxiety attack, or panic attack
- Diarrhea is present, unless you know for sure that you have the flu
- You're nauseated
- You're dizzy
- You become very angry (for seemingly no reason)
- You can't make a decision very well
- You keep changing your mind
- You want to cut, take pills, or hurt yourself
- You want to put stuff up inside yourself
- Your hands feel numb
- You feel an urgency to "do something"
- You feel extremely depressed
- You have lots of thoughts together that don't always seem to be related to one another
- You get "goofy" ideas
- You get impatient
- You hear repetitive thoughts that are negative
- Your ears ring. Programming. With eyes burning or the compulsion to hurt yourself
- You feel shorter or closer to the ground
- You can't think straight
- You feel a different face
- You want to do something you wouldn't usually do, which is sudden or repetitive in nature
- Your vision becomes blurry or changes
- You suddenly change your mind again
- Your skill level or ability suddenly changes for better or for worse
- You sometimes can't spell
- You start breathing hard
- You're talking and suddenly change the subject in midstream
- You feel childlike and fearful
- You can't seem to focus on any one thought or idea
After the above list are the following suggestions for dealing with these behaviours or feelings:
"When I notice any or more of these behaviours I will turn inward and ask, Who is there? I can become aware by asking my parts and then asking then what their needs are, and meeting those needs in a caring, sincere way.
After I do that I can tell my parts what I need to be more functional. I can teach them to reorganize and come up behind me, if I need that. But if I don't need the extra help I'll give them a break, and they can play or do fun things in the garden. I'll walk with them there, expressing my appreciation for the cooperation that they show me. When I regain my functioning and finish my work, or whatever I need to do, I'll reward my precious parts later on in the week. I'll ask them at some point what they would like to do, or have, if I can afford it. Sometimes I'll spend time with them as a reward, holding them or reading stories, or whatever is quality time that shows them I love them."
Hmm, as I read all this I think easier said than done. But I'm trying, folks, I'm trying!
Reader Comments (14)
Wow, this is a great, helpful post! Thanks for putting it up, Beauty. #1-- just suddenly wanting to run-- really jumps out at me and reminds me of many situations from the past. And, hhhmmmm...maybe that's why my IBS has been so acting up lately. Part activity. Okay. Time to play/rest on the sun porch for a while, my beautifuls.
As I read the last part I thought, "you do that? and it works?" then I realized you were quoting a book.
i switch a lot, fortunately for me the switches are usually between 3 primary adults.
if i stopped every time i had one of these symptoms i'd never get anything done.
of course this isn't the most encouraging comment i could leave but its how i as a multiple exist. i exist a lot in denial and a lot out of it. i'm not always aware of every feeling i have or every reason for my reactions. if i were i think i'd lose my mind.
i say slow and steady is the way to go. i say accept that sometimes we just don't get how this works and other times seek answers as if they were gold or silver. if we moved full speed ahead at all times we'd be exhausted before half the battle is won.
not encouraging i know but this is how i do it... slow and steady, denial and truth, break and start again..... if i were aware at all times i'd lose what parts of my mind i have left.
austin
awesome list. it's cool cuz most 'switching lists' seem to be from an observers point of view, but this is a more internal-experience list of subjective feelings.... i put a link to it in my sidebar under 'DID resources'. it's important. thanks for sharing. :)
Marj,
Yeah that one got me too. I could relate to all but a couple items on this list. Big surprise, huh?
Austin,
I'm with you on this....I can't sit there and analyze each and every impulse, thought and feeling. It amazed me as I re-read this list to realize that I experience most of these things on a daily basis.
Like you, I can only deal with stuff like this so much. I use denial a lot. I don't necessarily want to know when I'm switching. As far as the last part, I remember cracking up the first time I read it, it seemed so lame to me. I still don't really know how to talk to my parts all that well. I need to start writing to them, that would work better for me. Which reminds me:
If you read this Enola, I don't know what happened to the comment you left the other day (my post about Jenny's note) nor my response to your comment. I think I'm too tired to deal with writing a new response. I just didn't want you to think the comment didn't go through--it did, then disappeared!
Vague,
I'm glad you linked to this list, it really is a good one. I'm surprised I haven't posted it before this, but then it was hidden in a bottom dresser drawer under a bunch of stuff.
What is it that my comments on your post disappear and yours on mine disappear? Our blogs must be having a spat ;)
I can relate to a whole lot of these. 17 of them actually. Wonder what that means?
Uhmm, that you dissociate? Agh, I don't know. Don't listen to me!
I don't know what's up with our comment sections. What could our blogs be spatting about do ya suppose?
Enola,
This is crazy: now your original comment is back on the post, but the one I published in response isn't.
I give up!
I found this list very interesting. I do not have DID, however, I do have a bunch of other things going on. Due to that fact, I could identify with some of your points. I think a lot of the main ones would fit with some of my seizures--definitely. There can be some dissociation and depersonalization with those.
Also with some of the mood and thought issues; having ADD and Bipolar.
Another thing as well is that it's great to write posts like these as they are very educational. I try to do the same and really delve into signs/symptomology so others can try and "get it."
Plus, no one goes through the same situations with similar diagnoses so it also acts as a great space for further discussion.
Cheers,
PA
@ Enola,
Hey E, many of the items listed here are also symptoms of PTSD. It's just when a person has DID and they''ve been triggered they may switch personalities which is totally different than how a person with PTSD would respond to a trigger.
These are all trigger responses:
# You suddenly want to run
# You have a headache
# You're nauseated
# You're dizzy
All of these symptoms seemingly out of the blue can mean the person was triggered. If you have PTSD the response to the trigger will be different than with DID. With DID a trigger response could mean switching personalities. A person with PTSD can be triggered but not respond to the trigger the same way a person with DID will.
I hope I'm making some sort of sense here. My only point is the list applies to more than one disorder but the switching response applies to DID.
Anyone can be triggered. Once a person has been officially diagnosed with DID then this list can be helpful so they can understand how their particular disorder manifests itself.
Austin
I can relate to nearly all of the symptoms listed above and the suggestions for coping are waaay easier said than done. I cannot talk to my alters, nor do I hear them. I feel them. As soon as I feel one close, POOF! I've either lost time, or she disappears. Frustrating.
WOW...this really helped me! I was diagnosed as a multiple 9 months ago....well really about 10 years ago...but I fled and refused to believe. Then 9 months ago I was in crisis, found a wonderful Doc and within 2 months he diagnosed us as a multiple. Including the list above, I also have a problem writing the number 8. My checkbook is a mess, where ever I have had to write an 8. I feel fearful and disorientated when I "have" to write an 8. Have no idea what that's about. But thank you so much...you have really helped me in identifying "switch" triggers...I have just about all of them. We thank you!
Rainbow,
It's gratifying to know that this article has been of such help to you. I remember how eye opening it was for me, the first time I read it.
Wishing you the best,
Beauty
This is an awesome post!!! Very well done. It is so complete I am astoundted!!!
My ex-husband (well, almost ex) has DID and I suffer from PTSD (related to the abuse he imposed on me due to his co-morbid DID and dementia). Anyway, this was a helpful list for me because it helped me see that much of what triggers his switching is what triggers my PTSD. While he'll switch to an alter, I'll have a full-blown panic attack. But it's the same sort of feeling that's acting as the trigger. Interesting. Thanks for sharing.