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This area is reserved for the tidbits I know hope will be of interest to my readers. Check back often for regular updates. 


Check out this article about the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomena, including a list of organizations which strongly oppose this sick trend, and have implemented various means of helping women who have been sexually victimized.


Were you raised by a narcissist? Chances are you were if you suffered any form of childhood abuse. The Little Red Survivor website is filled with excellent articles examining the many faces of narcissism.


It's been a long time coming---7 years to be exact---but finally email notifications for new BD posts is available. Sign up today and never again miss another post. You know you want to!













Kate Is Rising has an excellent Survivors Resources page which directs you to numerous websites dealing with issues of abuse, healing and recovery. Please bear in mind that the information on these pages may be triggering.



There's lots of good stuff at the Dissociation Blog Showcase, including a list of 180 blogs dealing with some aspect of this disorder. 



On the Overcoming Sexual Abuse site there's an article entitled, "It's Not About You Mom" which I could have written myself. I bet many of my readers could say the same!








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« A Long Lost Friend | Main | It All Comes Back to Me Now »

Oh Captain, My Captain!

Glancing out my living room window yesterday afternoon, I received a jolt of recognition. There on the sidewalk went a tandem bicycle (more commonly known as a bicycle built for two.)

One of the summer time pleasures I enjoyed with my childhood best friend, Bec, was to pool our money and rent a tandem bike. 50 cents an hour doesn't sound like much, but we did good to scrape up enough for a one hour ride. We took turns being "Captain," or the front rider, and oh wasn't it a sort of bragging thing to coast along our street waving to the younger children staring open-mouthed? Didn't our hearts soar as we pedaled in harmony, cracking jokes and feeling the summer breeze in our hair and on our faces? You know we moaned and griped when we hit a bump in the road, or if there was the slightest incline calling for more muscle power. But it was a good kind of griping, the kind you do when something is difficult but worth the effort. The kind of griping you engage in when you know you're going to be awfully glad later that you did what you wanted to, never mind the sore muscles later.

The captain has two major responsibilities:


  • To control the bike, including balancing it whether stopped or in motion, as well as steering, shifting, braking.


  • To keep the stoker (the back rider) happy! A tandem isn't a tandem without a stoker. The captain must earn the stoker's confidence, must stop when the stoker wants to stop, must slow down when the stoker wants to slow down. Since the stoker cannot see the road directly ahead, the captain has a special responsibility for warning of bumps in the road, so that the stoker can brace for them.


Come to think of it, the tandem is an apt illustration of my friendship with Bec. Didn't she act as the Captain the time she warned me from what the boys wanted to do to me during a strawberry picking session one summer? That was certainly a bump in the road! I couldn't see what was up ahead, and so couldn't brace myself for the inevitable collision which would have happened if not for Bec. And when it was her turn to ride in back she did so happily, just as willing to take the back seat and be at my mercy as to be in the Captain's seat.

I miss those old days more than words can tell, but they've never really left me. I see them readily enough in my mind's eye, or am jolted into memory by the unexpected sight of a bicycle built for two lazily passing by my window.

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